I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
