Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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