I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
