I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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