There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
