How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
