I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
