My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
