Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
