Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
