i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Damn victory sex feels great
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