how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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