My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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