Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
