"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
