Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
