garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
