talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
