That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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