You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
