He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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