I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
