So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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