forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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