girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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