Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
