go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
