bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
