TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think your dad took our porno
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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