she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
how drunk are you?
Several
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
