i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
