I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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