Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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