someone get that fucking seahorse.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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