i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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