On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
