i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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