More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
