R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
