I wanna bring you to show and tell
This is not my ceiling
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
