called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
