I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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