I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
