I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
