We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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