my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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