Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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