I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
