my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
