my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
