Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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