He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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