3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
