Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
