But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
