We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
